Sound of Music

So on to Italy, leaving behind the wonders of a 1,000-year-old culture that has deteriorated to playing musical comedy for a living.

The drive from Salzburg to Lake Como has to be one of the most beautiful anywhere. I recommend it to anyone without reservation. And you pass lots of lovely old Schlosses built on headlands facing down river, the better to see your invaders by.

I would like to state for the record, however, that my husband’s driving did not let up anywhere in the rugged and picturesque Tyrolean Alps. Mr. Hyde would have been no match for the driver he became that day. I was afraid I would have to get my jaw pried open by a safe cracker when we finally arrived at our hotel, which was billed as a lovely old converted villa right on the lake with a suite reserved just for us.

Let’s see, to me suite implies two rooms, one to sleep in, the other to sit up in or escape your spouse in, or eat breakfast in, or whatever, but another room as in – two rooms. Our one-room “suite” was positioned in such a way that every truck and motorcycle rounding the bend of the only road that encircles the lake seemed to be aimed right at our bed. Also, the bend had an uphill incline that required all vehicles with stick shifts (Italy is simply loaded with them) to shift into second gear. Thus our lovely villa was, in actuality, a speed bump on the road to Como. How is one to know these things from way back home in America?

Villa d’Este

Strong With A Spear immediately looked for better accommodations and we ended up at Villa D’Este, a world-famous watering hole for the likes of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and other notables (it says so right in the about-the-hotel stuff on the desk next to the day’s menu and how to use the pants presser or call for more towels) and us. Needless to say we classed the joint right up.

Before our stay came to an end, we happened to meet a young Japanese woman who launched into a most interesting description of her love life. I right away noted the diamond bracelet weighing down her wrist, not to mention the diamond earrings and Lanvin handbag.

She didn’t actually launch into her love life right off the bat, but told us about her stay at the Crillon in Paris before coming to D’Este. It seems her uncle is a partner owns the Four Seasons chain and has an interest in D’Este as well so she gets the royal treatment everywhere she goes. She right away invites us to Paris and the Crillon for New Year’s Eve 2000. I perk right up and say of course, we’d be delighted. Strong With A Spear gives me a dirty look.

It seemed Midori’s Italian boyfriend had just dumped her, in so many words, and she was trying to figure out if that’s what happened or perhaps she had gotten it wrong. She was quite distraught, as you can imagine, and I tried to comfort her the best way I knew how. She wanted to get away so I told her of the perfect solution. Take the Sound Of Music Tour. Hop on a plane in Milan, get over to Munich, then fly to Boston and grab the bus right up to the Von Trapp Family Lodge and Gift Shoppe. Well she took my advice and now is the proud owner of two dirndls, three rosaries with Maria Von Trapp’s image hanging on an amulet, the complete collector’s video set plus annotated biographies of BOTH Richard Rogers AND Oscar Hammerstein.

With all that, who needs sex?